How to Stay On…
…All the Time

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I make my living bringing laughter to others and I practice what I preach as often as I can. Our world is changing and becoming a more dangerous and stressful place. Because of recent events, our lives have changed in many ways. If I can bring a little laughter into a person’s day, I feel that I’ve made the world a better place. In other words, I always try to be ready with a quick comment or gag. So how do I do this? Simple, what seem to be spur of the moment ad-libs are planned well ahead of time.

Fun at the Airport

Let’s take the airport for example. Security measures have increased dramatically when traveling by air. Gate agents, pilots, flight attendants, and security personnel all have a considerably elevated amount of stress at work. Naturally I believe it is my duty to bring more joy to their work environment. A couple of ways I do that is to present an Elvis Presley drivers license as my ID at each security point. It gets a good laugh. From time to time they will respond in kind by sending me through the search procedure again. I also have a small red dot on my driver’s license picture. As security personnel examine it, I reach into my pocket and put on a red clown nose. They look at the license, and then they look at me with the clown nose on. It brings them an extra couple laughs in their otherwise stressful day.

I also have a button that reads "Ask me about my vow of silence." From time to time a brave person will say, "OK, tell me about your vow of silence." I just stare at them. This is always good for a laugh. I love to have fun in the airplane emergency exit row. I sit in the aisle seat with a pair of those wrap around sunglasses, you know, the kind that the senior citizens sometimes wear. These glasses make me look visually impaired. When the flight attendant approaches me and asks if I can operate the emergency exit door, I look up and ask, "Who’s talking?" Often when I board the plane I pass by the pilots who are already in the their seats. I take that opportunity to say "I’m behind you 100%!"

Now if I want to sit by myself, I just take out an airsick bag, open it up, hold it in front of me, mess up my hair and try to look real serious. For some strange reason no one wants to sit with me then. When I fly on the smaller planes, I love to imitate the flight attendant because I’ve seen it so much. Many times they will ask me if I want to give the directions

How to Convince Your Waiter that You are Insane

The next area you can have fun is in public restaurants. When I am greeted by the hostess and asked where I want to sit I tell her the non-smoking, big tipping section. They get a big chuckle from that. When the server arrives to introduce him or herself, I respond with, "My name is Steve and I’ll be your customer today." Then I introduce everyone at the table, and quiz the server as to who everyone is. It’s a lot of fun. From time to time, if I’m at a restaurant with friends I’ll just stand at my table, pick up an empty glass and bang it with a spoon and say, "May I have your attention please?" Then, when they all stop talking and look at me, I say, "Thank you. I just wanted a little attention." Also at a restaurant you can surprise your friends by placing an empty coffee cup on a saucer. Place a spoon through the handle and as you are holding the saucer, hold onto the end of the spoon. Then gesture with the coffee cup, tip it a little and release the cup from the saucer and it will dangle by the spoon. It will give the appearance that you have spilled coffee on someone. But only do this if you know how to administer CPR.

What I really love to do best at a restaurant is to take a bread roll, hide it below the table, and stick a fork in it. Then, I hold the end of the fork with my right finger and thumb behind an outstretched napkin. I hold it in front of me so that the roll is in the center of the napkin. Then I rotate my thumb and the roll pops up from behind the napkin and gives the appearance it is floating in air. Someone will ask how I make the roll float. I tell him or her that the secret is simple . . . it’s made with self-rising flour.

I make my living bringing laughter to others and I practice what I preach as often as I can. Our world is changing and becoming a more dangerous and stressful place. Because of recent events, our lives have changed in many ways. If I can bring a little laughter into a person’s day, I feel that I’ve made the world a better place. In other words, I always try to be ready with a quick comment or gag. So how do I do this? Simple, what seem to be spur of the moment ad-libs are planned well ahead of time.

Tagged as: Classic

About SteveKissell

As a clown, humorist, author and motivational speaker, Steve has performed in 46 states and 5 countries! Yes, Steve Kissell has been performing for 25 years at conventions, schools, churches, libraries, birthday and holiday parties. He also shares the performing arts of clowning, comedy magic, and storytelling.

Contact Steve at: kisselltalks@cs.com or Visit Steve's Website